So funny & true!!!!!!

This post speaks for itself.....lol

Rolling out Magazine wrote:

I was raised to fear nothing or no one but God … it didn’t matter what or who it was — man, woman, lion, bear or J.Lo singing a capella — my mother and father instilled in me an understanding that there was nothing on this earth capable of invoking real fear within me.

And while I still carry those life lessons with me, there was one thing that managed to slip through my impenetrable fear force field. You see, as I got older and wiser in the ways of women, I learned that they use a few choice words that are capable of … well … they’re capable of inducing a considerable level of “concern” within me.

Some might label my concern as “fear,” but those people are dead to me now.

Anyway, I wanted to share the following points that accurately summarize some of the most dangerous, deadly words used by women. Pay close attention … and, if she uses one of these on you, then I’ll see you on the other side.

Take note … and try not to let fear get the best of you. (Special thanks to Caveman Circus.)

______________________________________________________

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. “Five minutes” is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”

4) Go Ahead.
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of “Nothing.”)

6) That’s OK.
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That’s OK” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint, just say, “You’re welcome.” (I want to add in a clause here: This is true, unless she says “Thanks a lot.” Now, that is PURE sarcasm, and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say, “You’re welcome” in this scenario because that will bring on a “Whatever.”)

8 ) Whatever
This is a woman’s way of saying “F– YOU!”

9) Don’t worry about it. I got it.
Another dangerous statement, this means there is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, refer to #3.

Big Hair, Don't Care... :)

I loved my 5 day old twist out...Big, Undefined, and Jet Black... :)
Check me out!

XOXO

Sharee writes...Apologies are Necessary

Sharee Johnson of shareejohnson.com writes....


Apologies Are Necessary


Time and time again in life I’ve told people “oh don’t worry about it you don’t own me an apology”.  I thought that I was being the bigger person and secretly thinking I now have one up on the individual that had unjustly wronged me. 

Have you ever found your self forgetting to say, “I’m sorry”, or trying to justify the reason why you did not vocalize your remorse to someone?  Have you ever thought saying “I’m Sorry or I Apologize” was so un-necessary because you did not see the wrong you had done big, little, or even mistakenly? Or have you ever felt that the person involved in your mishap, misunderstanding, and miscommunication was so much over it there was no need to hash up old stuff?  Have you ever felt that since the person does not know I was wrong even though I know I will just leave it at that?

This morning in my time with God I heard him say Sharee, Apologies are So Necessary.  I began to think God what do you mean by that.  He said you said a great prayer this morning, and I am so appreciative of your time with me, but don’t forget to apologize.  I immediately went on my spill of asking God to forgive me of my sins knowingly and unknowingly.  I went through in my head my days, weeks and months trying to remember everything I could have done that was just wrong.  I heard Him say Sharee your not getting it.  True apologies come from the Heart and not the Head. 

So I sat there and I began to be reminded from my heart how me not trusting God at His word, inadvertently tells Him he was not the TRUTH…for that God I’m Sorry.  I begin to remember when His voice had been muted by my circumstances, and for that God I’m’ Sorry.  Ahh He said I think you’ve got it.  Go deeper. 

I thought of the times when I showed lest that His Love, His Image and His Authority through my life’s actions or deed as I effected other, and for that I’m Sorry. And to those who have ever had to experience me being an image that portrayed less than the reflection of who God is, today I say I’m Sorry.

So I encourage you today to be mindful to Apologize, its is Sooooo Necessary


From:  The Heart of a Jesus Freak


www.shareejohnson.com

Teach people how to treat you!!

Check out this great article from one of my favorites.. Christine Kane



If You Want More Clarity and Wealth, Teach People How to Treat You

by Christine Kane 

There I was in Web Guy's office.

He was overwhelmed and angry. He complained that clients were calling on weekends and late at night. No one was honoring his schedule.

I told him what I learned many years ago from one of my coaches. It's a fundamental truth that has served me (and my clients) immensely. It is this:
You teach people how to treat you.

His eyes lit up. He couldn't believe it was that simple. And the more we talked, the more excited he got. (I refrained from calling him Grasshopper.)

So, what does it mean?

It means that it's up to you to allow or not allow certain treatment. It also means that you have to get clear about how you want to be treated. It means that you have to take responsibility for writing your own Owner's Manual, and hold yourself accountable for living by it.

In other words? Stop blaming other people for not knowing your rules! (Especially if you never enforce them yourself!)


Here are five steps for teaching people how to treat you.


1 - Start by Knowing What You Want (and What You Don't Want)

Pick an area of your life where you want to be treated differently. Describe how you'd like to be treated. Or, write about what you don't want.
You'll probably have some obvious beginning points. For instance, if you're tired of people wasting your time with latest office drama, you might decide, "I don't allow people to gossip in my presence."
Simple? Yes. But it's amazing how many of us allow these kinds of interactions without ever making necessary changes.


2 - Learn from your Current Situation

Ask yourself how you've allowed certain behaviors from others.
Choose one situation where you feel mistreated. Ask yourself how you allowed this to happen. You'll be amazed to see that often you choose to ignore your own needs or desires.
This process can show you where you get triggered. For instance, you might be tempted to say, "Well, I don't have a choice! He makes me feel guilty if I don't do it his way!"
Bingo! There's your trigger. Guilt!
Acknowledge that you allowed the situation so that you could avoid feeling guilty. Then, recognize that guilt is a trigger that will tempt you to ignore your own Owner's Manual. This is a valuable awareness.


3 - Honor It and Practice It

Think process. Not event.
One reason people struggle with this is that they wait until they're triggered before they attempt to set boundaries. Try not to communicate when you're in a highly charged emotional state. At that point, you're not teaching people how to treat you. You're probably blaming them and making yourself the victim.
Instead, wait until you get calm, then start with Step #2. Take the necessary course of action to right the situation.


4 - Teach YOU How to Treat You When That's the Only Choice

Not everyone is going to honor your requests or your clarity. Sometimes it'll have to be YOU who treats you well.
You must include yourself in your equation. If you've told your clients that you don't take business calls on weekends, then don't make business calls on weekends.


5 - Learn from People who are Clear and Successful.

I'll be the first to admit it. This article won't be popular among your co-workers and friends. That's because we're taught to "be nice" more than we are taught to "be big."
So, you must find people who can model this behavior for you, who encourage you to succeed, and who offer a different perspective on happiness than just "be nice." I always surround myself with people who hold me accountable to my intentions and goals. They don't let me make excuses or blame people. This is imperative. (I write these articles because I know the temptations, trust me! :-) )



Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 20,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com/.

Back to the Basics

So I colored my hair in February of 2010, and light brown sort of color. I really struggled with dryness for a while until I figured out a good deep conditioning regimen. Finally this past weekend I decided to go back to my roots (lol). Black. I think if I ever want to use color again, I will explore natural options like henna.
I love it. I used the indigo method (without henna) recommended by The MopTop Maven. Click below for the article.

http://moptopmaven.blogspot.com/2011/01/giveaway-1-jamila-henna-indigo.html

Well let me say again, I LOVE IT.

Take a look and let me know what you think.

XOXO

Makeup Monday...Tips from Ms. Quien La'Grone

If you know me, you know that I love makeup. I could literally spend hours on YouTube watching makeup tutorials. :) Even though I love makeup, I am still pretty reserved in my application. Just because I am not sure of what I am doing sometimes. I know a few professional MUA's that I could interview, but why not feature someone who rocks some awesome looks on a day to day basis. Please meet the gorg, Ms. Quien...

*Please note her fab natural hair too :)

What are the hottest makeup trends for the summer?

From what I’ve seen and read so far, BOLD is in for both the Spring and Summer: bold brows (a little thicker than normal), bold and bright eyes (i.e. yellow, hot pink), and also bold lips (i.e. neon). This sounds a little “80’s” to me. But remember, these are just trends. So please don’t throw out your favorites, or your “tried and true” go-to looks. I’m happy to watch the trends and try new looks, but I’m a big believer in wearing what makes YOU feel beautiful!

What is an easy way to take a makeup look from day to night?

I like doing this by working with the eyes. I remember a day where I was going to be out all day, but I had a dinner that night and would not have time to go home in between. So I wore neutral colors on my eyes (brown, soft gold), then added a dark brown (almost black) to my outer lid (and a little into my crease) to take it to a night look. I also freshened up my blush and went heavier on the liner and mascara. When my eyes are the feature, I keep the lips soft and neutral and vice versa.

What is your favorite makeup look?

My favorite makeup look is very simple. I add concealer over my entire eye (from lid to highlight/brow area), then add a medium brown to outer lid and into the crease, and then add liner, mascara and a neutral gloss and I’m done. It’s the quickest look and I get the most compliments.. Now of course my foundation is done (with a little bit of highlighting under the eyes) and I NEVER do my makeup without doing my brows. Nice brows can really make a face.

What makeup brands do you enjoy using, other than the most popular brands.

I love a good deal, so when I want to ration the use of the more expensive brands, I rely on Iman and Mary Kay for foundations. I like having different brands of foundations available anyway because my skin changes, and the foundation I wore yesterday may not work for me today.
For mascara, I primarily use Maybelline (waterproof), and right now my favs are the Stiletto and Falsies. I also love Covergirl Lash Blast. As for eye shadows, blushes, and liners, I use any brand ranging from NYX to the $1.99 sets in the beauty supply store. One trick to getting your cheaper eye shadows to “pop” or show on your skin is to prime the eye first (using either an eye shadow primer, concealer, eye shadow pencil, or cream shadow).



Love your curls!!

Alyssa of NaturallyCurly.com


....we wanted to take a moment to remind you why you should love your curls day after day. So often during this month we focus on those that we love and we forget that we have to love ourselves just as much. So take a moment to reflect on why you love that curly hairstyle of yours.

1. They are unique
   Every curl is as unique as you are and that is one thing to love about curly hair. Curls come in all textures and lengths and nobody’s curl is ever the same as someone else’s. I love to remind myself that anyone can have straight hair, but not everyone can wake up in the morning with natural curls. Plus, your curly hairstyles can be different each day, depending on the weather and the products you use.
2. They help you smell great
   That’s right; smell great. Think about the products you use on a daily basis. One of the things that probably attracted you to it was the good scent. That scent is with you most of the day and knowing that someone could smell your curly locks and think “Wow! That smells nice” is something I know I can appreciate.
3. They can help you bond
   You are on NaturallyCurly.com and the CurlTalk message boards because you wanted a place to find all kinds of information about your curls and talk with other people about their experiences. Having curly hair makes you part of a family whose members can relate to each other and help each other out when they are dealing with issues like second-day hair. You couldn’t go to a straight-haired girl for that.
4. No hairbrushes or combs required
   One of my favorite things about having curly hair is the fact that I don’t have to spend the extra money on brushes and combs. I can use that money to feed my product addiction instead! The only things I need to detangle my curls are my fingers, and those are free. It’s nice knowing that I can walk right past the isle of brushes and combs and not worry about spending a dollar.
5. Healthy hair is here to stay
   In my opinion, the absolute best thing about being natural is the simple fact that once you go natural, your healthy hair is here to stay. You don’t have to worry about constantly damaging you hair with heat or relaxers because you can get up every morning and be satisfied with your curls. The more consistent you are with healthy hair treatments the better your hair will look.

Like Tweet says in her song, "I'm done"...

***Rant Alert***

I am very disappointed. Why, you say, because! It’s seems like some many black people want to stay divided about something. I have come across so many black women since being natural that want to use hair to separate each other. Let me tell you, I am soooo over the Relaxed vs. Natural debate. I personally don’t understand what the big deal is. It’s just HAIR!!!!!!!!!! To me, it’s as simple as deciding to wear a ponytail, or braids. It’s just a choice that I made for ME and MY HAIR. Why do some people always want to zero in and go straight to slavery when we talk about natural hair?  I had an older lady tell me “don’t you know that people died so that you don’t have to wear your hair like that? WHAT!?!!!?! WOW!! REALLY, Ma’am??

NEWS Flash… This is the way my hair grows out of my head. Kinky, Curly, highly textured,…etc.

This is the way my daughters hair grows out of her head. I don’t want my baby to feel that she has to CHEMICALLY alter herself to be beautiful or accepted. We have to do better. We have to stop letting our differences divide us, rather than let our differences make us a more diverse race of people. SIGH. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but please don’t try to push your opinion on others. Like my friend Oprah says, “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space”.

And finally…do what YOU want to do with YOUR hair.

***Rant Over***

 

NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL SPOTLIGHT #6

Check out the beautiful Marlo...she's natural and loving it. Love the curls!

My Natural Hair Journey:

 I had been getting relaxers since I was 4 or  5. My earliest memories of my hair was it always being super thick unmanageable and my mother always wanting to keep it braided up and not deal with it. I hated getting my hair done. The sitting, the pulling, and the burning! I hated it!  She on the other hand had beautiful natural hair. So easy and free. Most of the women of the women in family had beautiful natural hair. My mother kept her hair short and colored but she never wore it relaxed. I loved her hair. I always wished I had hair like hers, but I was convinced that I had "bad hair" so I never thought I could be natural. My relaxed hair was never severely damaged or anything, but It never really grew longer than my shoulders, and I always had a dry and itchy scalp, especially during the winter.

How long have you been natural, and what made you decide to go natural?

My stylist in Houston took awesome care of my relaxed hair, but I spent hours in the salon, and avoided all extracurricular activities to keep it beautiful.   When I moved to the Dallas area, I started to go to a new stylist and she kept telling me I didn't really need a relaxer if I wanted to transition out of it. Every time I would come in to get my hair done she would ask me when I would be ready to take it out. I knew that my relaxer was keeping me from doing things that I needed to do, or wanted to do so, finally I told her when I turned thirty, and I would do it.  And I did just that.  I did the Big Chop in Jan. of 2008!

Were your friends/family supportive? If not, how did you overcome the negativity?

The first day was kind of crazy! My twin boys burst out in tears as soon as they saw me. They said I looked like a boy, and were truly upset with me. One of my boys was begging me to wear a wig, because he didn't want anyone to see me! I was hurt!  My husband was a little shocked, but more curious of what I was going to do with it. Most of my friends and family were supportive, but you always get someone that is old school and thinks it’s just nappy! Which is fine, not everyone will like it or understand it? My twins love my hair now and they always want to touch it and play in it. I guess it has the same effect on my hubby too. Come to think of it, it has the same effect on strangers too!!!

What is your current hair routine?

 In the winter months I wear a lot of two stand twists and twist outs using vegetable glycerin, Shea butter, and IC fantasia gel. Now that it is warm I will do a wash and go with Kinky Curly products or Curly Magic by Uncle Funky's Daughter Products. I refresh my curls with Taliah Waajid Bodifier Mist. I wash my hair with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration once a month and co wash bi weekly with Knot today.

Do you have any hair goals?

I had a hair goal in the beginning, which was to grow it past my shoulders. My hair surpassed that goal within the first year. Now it is to just keep it as healthy as I can. Learn as much as I can about my hair and find new ways to manipulate my curls.

Is there anything else you would like to share?

The one thing I would like people to know about natural hair is that it is so versatile! It can do so much, if you just take the time to learn what it can do. Some ladies might try it and give up within a few month of going natural, but I encourage these ladies to be patient! Give yourself time to grow! Give your hair time to grow! This is a true journey and you have to respect it! Learn to love the real you!

Trying something new...

I'm a neutral type of girl.
This past week I wanted to try a RED lip... so I pulled out my red lipsticks, red liner, exfoliated my lips (essential), watched a few YouTube tutorials, and got up the nerve to do it.

Soo what do you think? I loved it, My mom loved it, my sister...no so much, my daddy is easy, so he was cool either way.

Here are a few tips on achieving the perfect red lip.


1. EXFOLIATE YOUR LIPS
This is a good practice for your lips periodically anyway, but be sure to exfoliate before you do a red lip, especially with a matte color. I used MAC Ruby Woo. DEFINITELY Matte.

There is nothing worse than crusty red lips.. : /

2. Watch a tutorial
Just for good measure, you don't want to dive off into the deep end without knowing what you are doing. Here is one of my favorite red lip tutorials...

3. Line your lips first

Lining your lip will allow your color to be as defined and vibrant as possible and will minimize smearing. (Who wants red teeth?)

So that was my walk on the wild side. lol

Why Don’t Black Women Support Each Other In The Workplace?

Good Morning!

So this article really hit home for me. I had an issue with this as recent as yesterday. UGH!

 

Rene Styler of Good Enough Mother writes:

 

I was talking to a good friend the other day when she asked me something that really threw me for a loop. I guess I thought, having achieved the level of success she has in her corporate career, she was immune to this trend. Maybe I thought because she wasn’t in TV, these issues didn’t pertain to her. But it was clear to me how wrong I was when Tracy took a deep breath and asked me, “Why don’t black women support each other?” Oh dear.

Tracy is thin, attractive, whip smart and graduated from a big name school near the top of her class. Warm, inviting, generous to a fault, she never met someone she wasn’t willing to give a fair shake to. But the pain in her voice was evident when she detailed how most of the relationships she’s experienced with other African American women in the working world, had been adversarial. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I understand. I really, REALLY do.

I remember early in my career, coming into a TV station where there was a well established, older, African American woman on staff. I had heard so much about her and was very much looking forward to learning from her. She, however, wanted noting to do with me. The benign neglect would have been one thing; the truly heartbreaking aspect was when I’d catch her with a scowl on her face as she was looking in my direction or the times she gave cub reporters, mostly men and some white women, detailed instruction on how to get better but could only manage remarks to me through her clenched teeth. I finally gave up but never forgot that experience, which is why I go overboard to share what I know with anyone who asks.

When I told my work hubby, Richard about Tracy’s experiences and my own, he was aghast. As a gay man, working in media, he’s constantly telling me about the “Gay Mafia” who look out for each other, alerting each other of upcoming projects and in general supporting one another. And it’s not just gay men; it’s common with other ethnic groups as well. Even African American men support each other more or, at the very least, are not actively undermining those they work with.

Knowing the “what” doesn’t make the “why” any clearer, but if I had to guess the cause of this trend I would think it’s rooted in two things. The first is the “only room for one” phenomenon, the idea that whatever the field, it’s a zero sum game and another woman of color is competition.

The other factor, and I HATE to admit this, is that women are catty. I’m not perfect and have to say I’ve been guilty of this bad habit myself at times. It’s far easier to tear another woman down, leaving you the last one standing, than to link arms with her and work together to make a real difference.

But the big issue I have with this alarming trend is that it targets the wrong people for blame. Shouldn’t we as black women be working together to make sure someone who looks like us, in gender and hue, gets the corner office? Wouldn’t that help the effort to get more representation among the people who do the hiring? And wouldn’t it be great if we learned to celebrate each other’s successes, confident that what we give, we get and at some point someone would be doing the same for us?

Alas, based on information I found out recently, I’m not sure how close we are to actually achieving that utopia. In the meantime, I’ll continue to do what I always have, offer support to those who ask, unconcerned with the false thinking that it weakens my position. Because the truth is, working together strengthens us as a whole. United we can move mountains.

Okay so I’m curious, if you are a black woman, what’s been your experience with other black female co-workers? Do you feel in constant competition? Do you think this is a phenomenon that other women in the workplace experience? Why do you think that is? Fire away!

NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL SPOTLIGHT #5

If you need some natural inspiration! Check out my pretty friend Adrienne! Gorgeous hair!! Beautiful person!
Enjoy!

Tell us a little bit about you and your natural journey?

I decided to transition my relaxed hair into its natural state in May of 2009. At first it started off as a personal challenge to myself, to see if I could really do it. My hair had been relaxed since the age of 5. I was too scared to start off with the big chop so I decided to transition instead. I got braids, weaves, and tried transitional styles such as the twist-n-curl for a full year while drastically cutting my ends between each hairdo.

How long have you been natural, and what made you decide to go natural ?

After transtioning  for a complete year, I decided it was time to cut off all the relaxed hair and become completely natural. So I can say the full journey has been atleast 2 years. After  chopping off relaxed hair I could tell the condition of my hair was healthier than I have ever seen it, so I decided to keep going. I never  thought I could feel so liberated just by becoming NATURAL!

Were your friends and family supportive ?   If not, how did you overcome the negativity?

Most of my friends and my hubby were very supportive and a big encouragement. Family was a different story. One of my family members flat out told me, to take that @#%! out of my head, he didn’t like it. Each time he would see me it would be the same reaction, “I like your hair the other way!”  I expected the funny looks, and comments, and  a million questions. WHY WHY WHY? My response to the negativity was WHY NOT? You really have to have tough skin. The reality was I loved it and that is all that mattered, it wasn’t for anyone else but me to understand.

What is your current hair routine?

It took a while for me to find products that I love, but that was my fault because I still change up my hairstyles often. But while in my natural state, I use Cantu Shea Butter Leave In Conditioner, and I wash my hair with Taliaah Waajid products. I am still in the learning stages, but I have learned to twist my hair at night to get the “big hair” effect. Youtube and one of my closest friends Carnisha D. have helped me learn how to manage my hair.

Do you have any hair goals?

My goal is to keep going and keep my hair as healthy as possible.

Finish this statement: I love being natural because...

Because it has a deeper meaning than just sporting a big fro, it has allowed me to tap into my natural inner beauty as well which in turn has boosted my confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. I love the way I see myself from my own point of view.

Is there anything else you would like to say and where can we keep up with you? FB, Twitter, blog, etc....

On my FB page, I currently have a photo album titled “In the Key of A Natural”, where I have documented some of my journey using photos.

God did it!

God is so good! My mom invited me to speak at her quarterly prayer breakfast this past Saturday. It was a wonderful, beautiful, sweet event. You would have had to be there to understand why I describe the event that way. There was such a sweet, spirit in the building and everyone genuinely seemed glad to be there. I was pretty nervous because the Lord lead me to speak about my journey with him over the last few weeks and it has been…in a nutshell...a bit shaky. I believe the Lord put me in the way of some very beautiful people and I am sooooo grateful. Each one of the speakers had a message that spoke to me in a very real and personal way.

I will share more on that another day but I wanted to share some of the pictures from the event.



Me, Shavonn Cumby (Psalmist) , Kim Bady (Speaker), Cynthia Patterson (Speaker) , Yolanda Carroll (Hostess/Mommy)





Kim Bady...What a JEWEL!!



My Grandmother's table

Looks like I'm saying something good> :)



Me and my pretty mommy





I <3 THIS PICTURE!!
My Mom, Auntie, and Grandmother





My girl Shavonn took us into worship!




Our table, smiling EARLY!




5 minute face. Gorg!




Waiting for the raffle winner




a few naturals :) at the event





Author of book "It Had To Happen" Cynthia Patterson



All photographs taken by Jason Walton Photography

I'm feeling cute...

Well it was one of those days...
Hair acting right, makeup came out cute, outfit cute!!
Just thought I'd share! :)